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Many years ago, in a world now lost to us – well it was West Berlin in the 1980s if you want to get technical – there lived a young girl whose mind was as yet innocent of media entertainment, having spent her early years almost entirely absorbed in endless stacks of books and LPs of clever, educational, irreverent children’s songs. [By the way, if my parents happen to read this, do you remember the names of some of the singers of those wonderful Kinderlieder? Abgesehen von Rotkaeppchen natuerlich, Floh de Cologne kenn ich noch.]

Granted, perhaps some of my early reading material (for of course I was that young girl) was not entirely age-appropriate for elementary school. But I retained a certain sort of innocence, even while, upon discovering TV, I began a steady diet of film noir and Hitchcock movies (hey, is it my fault German TV in those days got most of its inventory from old Hollywood stock?). I remember one night where, slightly older now (but still not 13) and home alone, I got sucked into watching Wolfen – something that might help explain my fascination with wolves, and which is undoubtedly also at the root of my lifelong attraction to Creature Features. Yes, it’s an affliction but I’m lucky to have the support of my boyfriend, who laughs at me for liking these movies but let me watch 10 minutes of Leeches! recently until I became disgusted with it and turned it off of my own accord. Progress of sorts.

As I was saying, while I was trying to rot my brain with a more or less steady diet of Airwolf, The High Chaparral, Kojak and The A-Team (again, I say that this was what was available for entertainment on German TV – dubbed of course. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen the form of Mr. T speak German, with a completely non-matching voice) and whatever else there was on offer in the police or western genre, I was blissfully unaware of the existence of this guy and his famous car.

I do remember, vaguely, seeing a commercial for Matchbox cars that featured a young man in a black leather jacket, and I believe he may have been singing. But I had no idea who he was or who he would become. And thank goodness for that.

Because Hasselhoff has reached levels of weirdness formerly reserved only for William Shatner, and yet he apparently keeps a “singing” career alive in Germany. Go figure.

Anyway, for all those nostalgic for times past, and for those refusing to believe that Hasselhoff is famous as a singer in Germany, I give you this: Du (You). For me this is the epitome of The Hoff. It may not be as weird as his other video (Secret Agent Man, or Jump in my Car, anyone?) but it distills the creepy schmaltziness and also demonstrates the odd effect he had on German girls.

Not me though. I guess reading Raymond Chandler when you’re in 5th grade does inoculate you against some horrors.


One Response

  1. […] unhealthy compulsion to watch creature features no matter how bad (I may have mentioned this before somewhere). This however, is just too […]

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