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Adventures in Speaking

First off, I want to declare my admiration for British Adventuress, who in his most recent adventure managed to 1) think of a great comeback in an uncomfortable situation and then 2) actually had the mettle to open his mouth and say it. I’m in awe of this not only because by the time I think of anything clever to say in such situations the pigs have had this flying thing down pat for years and are building nests and the devil has learned to do triple Axles on his ice skates, and the person who should have been flattened by my witty retort has long since moved on, but also because, even if I should ever think of anything to say at the right time, I would never ever have the balls to say go ahead and say it.  My hat, if I actually wore one, is off to you, British Adventuress!

In other adventurous speech, desperate people (Republicans, I’m looking at you) are spouting some pretty incredible stuff. My favorite?

“If you make a little mistake with one of your ‘hos,’ you’ll want to dispose of that problem tout suite, no questions asked.”

“That’s too cold. I don’t snuff my own seed.”

“Maybe you do have a reason to vote Republican.”

Courtesy of J. Patrick Rooney (via You Are Dumb Dot Net – go read it).


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