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So, Spiderman 3. Meh.

OK, let’s just get this out of the way: Spiderman 3 – meh. If I were writing this directly after seeing the movie on Friday, my reaction might be a lot stronger on the negative side but I’ve had the weekend to read a ton of other comments, reviews and reactions and I am thus bending to the middle. Because I am nothing if not easily swayed in my opinions of things that entertain like books, movies and TV shows.

A warning for those who hate to be spoiled even a little bit about any aspect of a movie they haven’t seen yet: you are reading this at your own peril.

Overall, I tend to agree with the opinion voiced here. Except that I tend to find Ms. Dunst in her panties a lot less distracting. Which is why I really did not want to see her doing the twist in an attempt to establish that cute and oh-so-romantic air of a “we’re good friends having a good fun time together and oh goodness we might kiss because suddenly there’s romance in our twisting” kind of scene. Well, really I could just have done without her and Franco doing the twist, or Ms. Dunst’s singing, for that matter. Also, please cut the random, bizarre soft-shoe, jazz hands dance number of eeeevil by Tobey Maguire. So very unnecessary. Merely taking your new date, the one your ex got all jealous about, to the place where your ex now works as a waitress amongst her broken dreams is sufficient to mark you as an evil jerkwad. Dancing does not have to enter into it.

Otherwise, the action scenes were a lot of fun, thrilling even, and the Sandman’s transformation was fabulous. I’m not a comic book geek, so I won’t go into the intricacies of the black suit, how the Venom character was used/misused and all that stuff. There was too much packed in, and if there were a higher deity, the damn bad-boy-of-disco stance and the frigging finger guns of evil emo Spiderman would have been cut. Or at least the women of New York would have collectively flipped him off every time he tried to pull that crap.

These scenes took me right out of the movie and it became unbearable towards the end when I stopped suspending disbelief entirely and was forced to come to the conclusion that this was actually a Zucker-produced Spiderman parody. The horribly useless TV reporting, the fucking butler with pivotal info at the last moment, info he could have damn well mentioned earlier, the uber-cheesy lines, the fake weeping. Where have you gone, Raimi Spiderman of Spiderman 2 and why am I watching this stuff instead?

Edit at a later date: Since I ended this on a bit of a rant, I just want to take a moment to point out that this is not entirely a bad movie and I did enjoy parts of it (the Spidey-swinging action was great and Bruce Campbell’s cameo was wonderfully done). But those other parts just took me out of the movie and overshadowed the great stuff, and that’s what I was left with – fake crying and overdone parody moments that I just couldn’t buy. And clearly the finger gun bad-boy Spidey humor missed me entirely. I wish I could have laughed at it more but all I did was cringe in my seat and hope that this too shall pass.  Ah well, I can look forward to The Bourne Ultimatum now.

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